Thursday, January 26, 2012

Hello to anyone taking the time to read this, I thank you. It is going to a babbling post today because there are a lot of thoughts, memories and emotions that I am having today. I am quite surprised that this day has affected me the way it has but instead of not feeling the feelings I would embrace them, think of the GODD and the bad from the situation and then let it go.
One year ago today I entered St. Mary's hospital in Rochester MN for a hernia operation. I had the time off work and plans for my 6 weeks I would be unable to work, I was ready and kinda glad it was finally being taken care of. Well instead of a "routine" operation and recovery it was a day that has changed my life forever. I went into the surgery being morbidly obese and also unbeknownst to us all malnourished. I had horrible eating habits, no fruits or veggies at all, fast food all the time and also my body was not able to absorb what I was getting. I ended up being in the hospital for seven months. I was in ICU for four months and also was in a "coma" and lost my ability to walk, lift my head or arms or hardly even chew my food and swallow when I woke up. I truly almost died. With God's intervention, leading me on, I guess "we" decided to fight and survive. It was a long road. I went through a lot of things I never thought I would be able to make it through. I was so scared, there are so many times I felt like giving up but for some reason I didn't. I never considered myself a strong person or a fighter but for those months I feel God carried me through those months and He was the fighter and strong for me. there were a lot of things I missed while in the hospital starting with the Super Bowl. My beloved Packers won the Super Bowl and instead of being able to watch them and cheer them on I had a belly full of blood and a room full of interns and nurses trying to get me to stop bleeding. I had to miss the annual get together that I plan every year. I had to miss my only niece's graduation. It hurt a lot but I got through it. I worked hard and fought through infection after infection, extremely painful dressing changes, eating so much protein that I can't eat eggs to this day. I did therapy a couple times a day for months, thinking I would never be able to actually walk again, but I did. Yes my life totally changed starting a year ago today. I no longer have a job that I absolutely loved. I no longer have the ability to go back to work at a full time job or a physical job part time. Not all of the changes have been bleak. I am 90 pounds less today then I was a year ago and still going to Weight Watchers and losing. I work out three times a week at the hospital and still go for Physical therapy. I eat fruit and veggies and foods that are good for me, except eggs. My faith in God has grown tremendously although I still feel like a child in my faith. It is something I am working on everyday.
This is the scripture that I try to read everyday and really take to heart. I feel like I am lost, not really knowing which direction my life is going especially in regards to work and making a living. I have to read this and pray that He shows me the way he wants my life to go and that I am open to where He wants me and what He wants me to do. He let me live for a reason and now I have to find out what that reason is and follow it. My family is also closer together. I guess when you almost lose one member everyone pulls in the ranks and supports eachother and the chain just gets stronger. I couldn't be more thankful for the family I have and am so thankful for them being there everyday for me while I was in the hospital and now that I am out, especially my mom and dad. I know that those seven months were not easy on them either. Also my sister who was there at the hospital a couple times a week and also took care of making sure mom and dad did not over do it. Also the people that prayed for me and sent cards and kept in touch, they kept me going also and kept me feeling loved, I thank you all. My life also changed for the better because of the people I met during my stay at the hospital. I cannot express how grateful I am to the nurses that took care of me. They are truly a special group of people to do what they do with their lives, and never make the patient feel bad about it. I consider some of the nurses I met there my friends and one in particular will be a lifelong friend for sure. I thank God for these people that He brought into my life when I needed them most.
Well if you read all of this I thank you, it was long. I am still recovering in some ways and in a lot of ways I am so much better. I ask for your prayers that I continue to get my life back to where God wants me to be. Be blessed and thank God always for good health and never take it for granted.


Donna said...

Feeling grateful, too ... we missed you!
Will continue to pray for your full and complete recovery.


Katy said...

Cindi thank you for sharing. I had no idea all you went through. You are a testimony and a woman of strong character and grace. The Lord does indeed have something very special planned for your life and I am glad I get to watch it unfold. I do so love you my friend <3

Stephanie said...

Why did I not know this? I must have been hiding under a rock or something. Oh my word lady-what you have been through. God certainly has big plans for you! If he brings you to it he will see you through it. I am so glad that you are better and getting stronger everyday.
Be blessed,

Julia said...

It's sure been a long journey, Cindi..but one that the ord is walking with you every step of the way. You are an awesome witness as you recover and I'm glad you are getting better and gaining strength not just physically but spiritually too.

{{Big Hugs}} Julia